Personal Rant about Free Speech

I've always been baffled by how sensitive people are about their beliefs. Recently I have felt like every time I posted an opinion on facebook it is met with harsh and i mean harsh criticism from someone and or some of my co workers that are liberals. I am not a very good arguer, so it's hard for me to defend my stance on an issue which makes me angry because I want to. But I mean really, can't people just leave their opinions to themselves. I really dont want to hear your opinion on every single little thing I post about something I Like be it serious or no.

I believe in freedom of speech but if I feel attacked every time I state something here in Seattle is it really freedom of speech? Because I believe different does that mean I have to keep my mouth shut. Probably. It's one of those things i'm not quite sure about and Don't want to ask about really I just want to compain about it because it's been bugging me.

I feel like this nation is going down hill since Obama has taken office. I feel nervous for our country it's not strong anymore. It's not just obama, it's politics in general. I'm not sure why but I just feel nervous and anxious all at the same time.

Sigh. and people wonder why I am such a nervous wreck all the time. I hear of earthquakes, people dying that I know, or people fighting at my work. I am just trying to think positivley but it is really hard to. I miss my friends. I never get to hang out with them anymore. I miss my family. I never get to see them anymore. It's always cold and rainy here in Seattle, no sun what so ever. Worst couple years of weather in my life. My dad is having severe thunderstorms in Mountain Home, but it is his fault for moving to such a shitty area of the country. UGH I just want everyone to be close together. I know I have probably already typed this. But I am still thinking it. I have just been playing the Sims and working and comming home. Not much is really new. I have finally got a handle on the dishes and am slowly working my way through the laundry. Our lease is up in a few months I think we are thinking of moving to Renton. Not sure yet. We will see what the future holds for us!

Lifestyle Change day 1

It seems like for the millionth time I am starting a diet. well, a " lifestyle change" . I got a gym membership and am going to be doing some exercising. I have nothing better to do most of the time than sit on the computer so I figured, why not put those hours towards hours that I could be doing something. I dont have any friends here, so i figure its going to be easier for me to loose the weight by myself and with chad helping and me eating healthy I Can do this!I am excited. I Hope things go well for me. My goal is to be at 120lbs. I am currently at 240 ibs. That means I have 130 lbs to loose.

Positive Changes....what?

So I went to check out Positive Changes Hypnosis to see about their weight loss stuff and I couldn't believe how much it was! 4000$ for 9 months and 500$ down payment with a 243$ monthly payment. Holy shit! Talk about car payment. And the lady was like well if you really want to you will find the money. Whatever lol Not everyone has 4000$ lying around in their back pocket!

Sometimes I just want to scream at the world !

So this week has been rough emotionally. I don't know if it is the full moon or what. I feel more alone then ever. I feel like nobody wants to talk to me or hang out with me. I know im not very exciting to be around but I am always there for people it seems a lot more than they are for me. I fought to get a Saturday off to come out here to cda to specifically see a friend of mine, and It turns out she couldn't get her husband to watch her kid for me when they knew at the beginning of the week I was coming out here. I'm so mad I could scream. I just want to feel appreciated and wanted. and I feel like its not like I come out this way or can very often and when i can nobody ever calls and wants to get together or anything. I just feel like saying screw all of you and I want to retreat in my bubble of loneliness but I wont because im not like that or that kind of person. 

I have made the decision to not get so excited about things so easily because I'll only be let down. I have a huge heart and when it gets stomped on like this it makes me very depressed and sad. I don't want to do anything or see anyone I just want to work. and Come home. and play my sims games. Nobody bothers to ask me how Im doing or how my life is. I am always the first person to ask people how they are. and I'm not doing it anymore. Im not being the nice friend everyone has that just keeps getting walked all over. I'm done. This was the straw that broke my back and my heart. I know i probably seem way over dramatic right now but i have to get this off my chest or im going to go crazy thinking about it.

Feeling That I need to Change myself

So the last few days I have been feeling the need to change. but I Just keep doing the same things I always do. , Wake up, Check Facebook...Check the tv...Eat. Go to work. Come home. Eat..go to bed...blaaaaah so boring ..my life sucks latley..and I just feel like I am going nowhere. I need to get this off my chest so I stop thinking about it. I want to travel and do things and go places. but I Feel with where we are at right now financially we cant. I want to get our bills paid down, I want to buy a house so we can stop moving every year...but I dont know where I want to settle. This is very unsettling for me because im a creature of comfort. I love being home and feeling like I have a home. Latley, im just not feeling it. Everything else is fine. Its just me. I dont know how else to explian it. Im going to a therapist to start dealing with some of these things. I want to loose weight. I am going to start slowly eating right...not deprive myself of everything but its hard. I can't seem to get started on a plan at all.

Welcome to the House of Night

Oh my gosh I am so excited. I got all my Feldgeling Handbooks and Lenobia's Vow today as well as the Nyx in the House of Night book. I am going to be doing alot of reading this week :) I also went to the store and Paid My Parking ticket I got last week. I had to mail the money in because I lost the ticket so hopefully it will mail tomorrow and get there Wednesday> I have to go get my blood drawn on Thursday because I was supposed to last time and It wouldnt come out because my body was dehydrated. LOL So I have to do it again. Anyways, Not much is new I dont have to go to work today because Melissa is going to be there instead. So i just am going to go into Bellevue now on Tuesday and Wednesday. I have to replace my Urban Decay Makeup Pallet because they couldn't verify my billing address so I will watch that today. It is taking forever! I really want that pallet!! LOL. anyways..thats about all that's going on today. Havent talked to Mom or Dad in a few days so I should probably Call them. Chad's going to coeur d alene next weekend. :( I dont get to go because I am covering Rosie's shift. I will go the weekend after that.